My BBF Is Deserting Me!

Thassaright bunnies.

She’s taking her other half and my godsons and forking off to Oz!!!

I am so excited for her and for her family.

But at the same time, my heart is breaking!

You see, her hubby has an awesome opportunity to run a farm down under, and the boys will be able to go to school in the nearby town, and her hubby’s “package” includes a house! And it seems Gen will not even have to work initially, but she can if she wants or needs to. They’ll be close to the sea and to the mountains and living on a farm… the boys will be in their element!

And the miserable truth is they will probably- eventually, after adjusting- be happier and safer there.

Gen’s is one of the many unfortunate Sowff Effrikun families who’ve had all sorts of shirty crimes committed against them. Everything from being hijacked to her family being attacked in their own home! I came THIS close to losing them all… and I don’t blame them for leaving, I really don’t. Noises in their garden have both Gen and her hubby up and at the windows at all hours of the day and night. The kidlets are doing better now, after counselling, but loathe being home unless they’re behind several locked gates and alarm systems. It just breaks my heart.


While I have actually avoided thinking about it most of the time… pretending that the packing and selling is for just another move… I have been thinking a lot over the last few months about our history. Do you know, in the almost 27 years we’ve been friends, we’ve never lived more than a couple of suburbs apart!? At one time our houses were counter-corner, and for a while we even lived in the same block of flats!

If I remember correctly, we met in about January 1982, when sister B started grade 1 and I started grade 3 at a new school, after our family moved to the suburbs. I actually met Gen’s late brother Jason first… he and his best buddy L (or was it M? L and M were brothers and I can’t remember exactly which one was Jason’s best friend) were walking behind us as we arrived at school and throwing berries at sister B and I. I turned around and Jason’s buddy pointed at him and said, with a Cheshire cat grin: “…he likes you…” I remember it like it was yesterday… we were kind of girlfriend and boyfriend for a little while. And through him I met Gen. In all honesty, I forget exactly how we met, but that’s irrelevant.

Gen was the tall tanned athlete with lots of friends. Netball, athletics, swimming, tennis, modern dancing, cricket scoring… Gen did it all.

Me? In am fairly short, and my skinny white pins and I stayed out of the sun as much as we could and I never did any form of sport unless I absolutely HAD to throw a discus or something for inter-house sports (participation was compulsory to begin with, until teams were selected). Oh, and I sang in the choir and I liked working in the library.

The two of us could not have been more different.

And we still are!

She’s still the tall, tanned, married with two super-sporting boys, sportswoman with colours in cricket, karate, pool and netball!

I’m still the short(ish), snow white, non-sporting, tattooed single mom.

We have totally different tastes in clothing, music, men, sport, books… you name it! But we’ve stuck together through thick and thin.

Yes, we’ve had our moments and once or twice we went for months without speaking- and we don’t spend our time in each other’s pockets- but when we hook up again it’s like no time at all has passed!

Holy crap tjomma… fot the wuck am I going to do without you!!?! Oh my word- I decided I wasn’t going to cry till we got to the airport… who was I fooling!!?!?

Hell tjomma… I have so many, many memories!!!

Like when the two of us were sent by my mommy darling to fetch my little sister C and da Bruvva out of the garden where they were playing in the mud- and the two of us, at prolly 12 years old- decided it looked like fun and joined them instead!!!

Playing at being school teachers, and breaking a lamp when we had a towel fight… I forget who got the blame for that one!

Remember how I was only allowed to have friends over on a Friday until 4? And just before 4pm, you’d start leaving- and then we’d stand at the corner of the garden and chat for another 30 minutes!!!! We still take forever to say goodbye…

And all the naughty shit we got up to as kids!

Like getting horribly drunk on Oyzo at the public pool, I swear that’s why I can’t drink Zambuca…

Letting your brother practice his cheerleading on us in the garden resulting in our Doberman biting him on the bum and ripping the pocket off his school shorts!

Sitting in your room listening to Depeche Mode and gossiping.

Remember the Rockies and the Himalayas?


You spending Friday nights at my house and going to youth group… and youth group wasn’t lekker anymore after a few years and we’d sit in the street outside smoking until we were picked up again! Why the fork we didn’t just stay home I’ll never know… and drooling over George at youth group camp… remember him, LOL?

Walking to the mall every Saturday morning and spending the entire day there with not a cent between us, trying on clothes in all the snazzy boutiques!!!

Drinking in the, erm, “bushes” with that slimey boyfriend of mine- lol… you were so right about him!!!

Remember you teaching me to smoke…? I was puffing for months before I plucked up the courage to inhale. I’ll never forget it! We were sitting on the back lawn of my folks’ house and you laughed your ass off when I got such a head rush I lay back onto the grass!!!

And getting pickled in the middle of the day and going to another friend’s house to sober up before going home and infuriating her mother in the process!

Ooh, and trying to buy draught beer for a party, and me panicking ‘coz I hadn’t done it before!!!

As grown ups the naughty shit stopped… but I have so many recollections of our time together.

When you told me you were seeing Mr NSNMOTB, you were so happy it was like someone had opened the blinds and let some light into your life! And when you phoned me to tell me you were pregnant, and I asked if I could be happy for you… I was so excited for you!

And decorating Ryan’s bedroom, both of us so excited by his impending arrival! Unpacking and repacking all his clothes and blankets.

And I will never, ever, forgive my previous employer for making it impossible for me to attend your wedding tjomma… my heart aches when I think about it and I would love to go back in time and change that.

Ooh- I just remembered our little adventure of returning the dress you got married in!!?!?


Okay, so maybe not all the naughty shit stopped…!

Oh my goodness I am going to miss you so much.

And now I’m bawling again…

Gen, my life won’t be the same without you and your family. I cannot put into words how much I am going to miss our closeness- no matter how small the interweb makes the world seem.

13 thoughts on “My BBF Is Deserting Me!

  1. gill: aaawww… so sorry!

    jo: oh for sure!

    gen: OMW…
    i forgot all about the mercurochrome (sp?) spray! your whole shin was red for weeks!!!
    and i just remembered how, in standard 5 (grade 7) you had one of those funky bleached blonde streaky spiky haircuts and my daddy darling said you’d been run over by a combine-harvester!!!

  2. Hi my friend, as you know we are still in the bush and I rarely go into the internet (due to lack of signal) and this morning I decided to read some blogs and I came across your post. You are the bestest of them all and I too have so many memories, like when I fell off the bicycle and your dad sprayed my whole leg full of that red stuff – hehehehehehe or how we used to walk from your house to the Mall, chewing bubblegum and seeing who can blow the biggest bubble and get it to pop all over our faces. You made me cry too and time is now ever so close for us to leave and I am really dreading having to say goodbye to the people in my life that mean so much to me. What really makes me happy though is that you are happy and that you have finally found someone special to share your life with, someone I know that will look after you and carry you high up on his hands. Glugs – Take care of my friend and please bring here over to visit! Thank you for this wonderful post – I LOVE YOU MADLY and I am going to miss you MADLY too!!!! remember, we have got a 5 bedroomed, 3 bathroom house with a MOERSE garden, so it won’t be necessary for you to camp outside – hehehehehehe). FRIENDS FOREVER XOX

  3. It is really hard to say “goodbyes”… so don’t say “goodbye” just say “see you around” or “be seeing you soon”… it may take months or even years, but for sure, you will see each other again.

  4. My heart really aches for you. My BFF and his family, including my little godson, have sent in their papers for OZ too – I get a bit teary everytime I think about it. So I truly know what you are going through!

  5. Ag nee man. Now you have ME in tears. It’s just sad but it has to be done. …. now I miss Jason too. ….

    It’s so difficult when your bestest friend leaves like that. You know it’s the right thing but it’s the last thing you want her to do

  6. Awwwwh, what a sweet post. What a wonderful friend you have and what memories you will have forever. Thanks for sharing with us.

  7. Ow you poor thing – there is nothing on the planet to replace such a good friend. You’ll have to save for a visit and add to the adventures. I really feel for you. Big hugs.

  8. Oh Sweetie. Crying both for you and with you.
    Being apart from your best friend is tough mine lives the other end of the country but the amount of times I see her it feels like the other end of the world.
    The inter-web does help though – honest. What with web cams and chats and stuff,you’ll probably talk to each other more.
    I know,it won’t be the same as a real hug though eh? But I’m sure Glugs will provide extra hugs to help you feel better.

    *cyber hugs*

  9. Dang girl! That was an amazingly heart felt post and a great tribute to your friendship. Yes she may be moving thousands of miles away but her family are still here and so she’ll be back a bunch of times in the next few years so you’ll still be able to hang with her on those occasions and you’ll always have a bed to sleep in in Australia ….. but if she doesn’t provide you with a bed there will still be a hugeeeee back garden for you to pitch a tent in and sleep under the stars. Just watch out for the kangaroos, deadly spiders and snakes, dingos, koalas and wombats! 😉

  10. that is so sad… *sigh*

    i hope they find peace in oz and that you’ll go visit them plenty!


  11. oh my!!! my heart is breaking just thinking about it! my best friend leaves for 8 months at a time, but at least i know she’s always coming back……lots and lots of hugs coming your way hun!!!!! But true friendship will always stand the test of time and distance…’ll miss her, but you guys will be just fine:)

    AAAAARGH!!!! you have a freakin spider crawling around on your blog!!!! It’s called a warning woman!!!i nearly broke ze laptop!

  12. what a heartfelt post and there really do seem to be so many memories 🙂 at least you know they’re headed for a fantastic opportunity and not just leaving to get away from here and muddle their way thru over there.

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