Well, after playing the game on her own blog recently, EXMI decided to do something different and asked some of her regular blog reads/ readers a question instead. Mine was as follows:
“How have you adjusted moving in with your fella, after having lived alone (well with your spawn) for so long? Do you guys ever fight? Who has the worse temper? And what’s it like knowing that you read each others’ blogs – does it lead to any kind of self-censorship?“
Definitely some food for thought there girl!
Well, to be honest, I think I am still adjusting to the move.
Yes, we’ve spent every weekend with my Glugster since we started seeing each other in December last year, but the knucklehead and I still had our space then. I was completely independent and very VERY hesitant to give up my flat and my things, my appliances. You know, with all the “what if…” scenarios that plague one’s brain at all hours when the future looms large. Damien and I lived alone- just the 2 of us- for over 10 years (there was an ex who lived with us for almost 3 years before that). I paid exceptionally low rent for my flat, which was one of the reasons I could afford to send Damien to a private school. One of the “what if” issues is that, worst case scenario, I would have to move in with my folks to keep Damien at a private school, as I’d never find the same rent! And of course we came and went as we pleased. I didn’t have to let anyone know or check with anyone before I made plans. And more often than not the knucklehead made food for himself after school, so if he wasn’t hungry when I got home I didn’t bother with supper. And I am a slob, so the dishes often went unwashed… I did laundry and such, but I never ironed anything unless it really needed it. And my flat looked the way I wanted it to. I had my dragon collection everywhere. There were pictures of the knucklehead on every single wall. He did as he pleased in his bedroom, I just shut the door so I couldn’t see the mess… now, I have a maid once a week. She does the laundry and the ironing, and she tidies up- including Damien’s bedroom. And I have a dishwasher… which it is now Damien’s job to pack and unpack everyday. I make supper pretty much every day because by the time we all get home from work- with the knucklehead spending his afternoons after school with my dad so no more raiding the fridge and grocery cupboards– we’re hungry. Damien now has his own bathroom- so we are in each other’s hair a lot less! And as a result we fight less too. I have my Glugs as a buffer between the knucklehead and myself, and he’s had to play referee a few times already. I am slowly learning to call it “our” place, instead of “Glugs’ place”, and Damien speaks of it now as home and ours, but some days it still feels strange to go straight “home” to the house rather than to the flat. And of course I can’t decorate the place to suit only me… my dragon collection is all still in boxes because my Glugs would rather have them in a display cabinet than all over the house.
We have yet to have a fight. Yes, seriously bunnies, we have not had one fight! I know there are people with the viewpoint that couples who don’t fight have no passion in their relationship- but that’s really not a problem for the two of us, LOL!
I think I may have a worse temper than my other half. I am very quick to swear or shout if I burn myself cooking or stub my toe or if something doesn’t work like I want it to… he tends to seethe inwardly when something angers him. He doesn’t stew or stay angry- but rather than slam doors or throw things he gets over it in his own head. I have learned to be able to see when he’s really angry about something, but other people can’t see it, and it really doesn’t happen often.