I’m Feeling A Little Old…

At 2:47AM on Sunday April 5th, my precious little boy turns 18.

Eighteen years old.
Legally a grown up.
Entitled to vote, drink, drive and sign contracts.
My sweet Damien, who cannot keep up with his homework or remember to revise properly for tests and exams, is going to be legally responsible for himself.
I am dreading it!!!
But what I am truly, deeply afraid of, is that once he is 18 years old, his biological father will be allowed to contact him without me objecting. And if Damien wants to, he can look for him- with my help. I have always told him that if he so wishes- I will help him track his father down when he’s 18, but not before. And I have always been afraid that should he go looking for his father, that his father won’t want to meet him and will break my precious boy’s heart…
And I am afraid of what his father will say to him i.t.o. what happened between us when we split up. I have always been as honest with my knucklehead as I thought he could handle and understand. Trying at the same time not to put his father on a pedestal, nor to make him into the image of evil incarnate. Its a REALLY fine line…
I know we probably remember things differently- I can only hope I have told my knucklehead enough that he will not simply take as gospel whatever his father and paternal family may say.
Onto nicer topics.
We’re having a bring and braai on Saturday with friends and family, and when he goes back to school after the holidays he’ll have a party with his school friends. On Saturday everyone will be wearing black, since that’s his thing right now, and we’ll just be taking it easy and letting him enjoy being “allowed” to drink with us.
I had to giggle though. I’ve always been really strict on age restrictions and rules and the like, and earlier this week he asked me if he’d be allowed to drink at his party on Saturday since he’s techinically only allowed to drink on Sunday. I was tempted to say no, to let him stew a little, but I said yes, and he repled with his standard “Cool”, but with a little smile as well.
Wish me luck, bunnies!

17 thoughts on “I’m Feeling A Little Old…

  1. donncoppens sent me over your way. It's great to read a blog by another Mom who has a boy with ADHD. I have two, 12 & 14, both with ADHD. I call them my aliens. Thanks for sharing your journey with the rest of us!

  2. Congrats Angel!!! 🙂

    The party is already over but if the tweets I’m reading are anything to go by it was a huge success! 😉

  3. I think you are a great mom, and he’ll stick with you, no matter what happens with biodad.
    Hhaha- in my youth, I wouldn’t have asked about drinking, just done it, and tried, badly, to hide it. It shows something of his character- you can’t force that, so well done for slowly kneading it into him.

  4. hope he has a fabulous birthday! Love that you’re all wearing black 🙂

  5. I am feeling ya so much. Do you know I have to apply for custoday of my #1 who has the mentality of a 2 year old before he turns 18. Can you believe that shit!

    They either give us no help, or intrude to much. Why after all of these years cannot they (the government) get a nice solid balance. eh?

    Happy Birthday Damien…you be nice to your mommy and stay the hell out of trouble…it is NOT worth it.

  6. oooer. major milestone. i have to just say that he is (was) THE most beautiful baby I have EVER seen. I hope that pic is enlarged and ‘keepsaked’ somewhere in your home.

    And from this older woman…he aint looking all that shabby now either!!!

  7. Old? Nah…but you were wise enough to catch that Google April prank! Wasn’t that hilarious? Glad you got to see it.

    Have a happy weekend of celebration – best wishes to Damien!

  8. technically he can only sign contracts when he’s 21. majority in this respect only comes then.

    but yeah. sorry for you. drink/vote/take out life insurance/drive he can do.


    good luck.

  9. I’m with yellowdog granny here. One possible bonus…. the father of mine phoned me the other day to ask what his son’s last name was as he was doing his will. Possible bucks one day???

  10. Happy happy early 18th to Damian 🙂

    He was a beautiful baby hey!! Looked very grown up!

    And things will work out with his dad – it may be heard but it will all work out!

  11. I never told my sons what an asshole their dad was..figured they would find it out on their own. his dad can’t break his heart as you have done a wonderful job of strengthen it for him…good luck to the both of you.

  12. Very cute that he didn’t take for granted that he may drink on Saturday!

    I completely understand your fears for him regarding his father – I couldn’t get it more. I hope things turn out well if he decides to look him up.

    *strongs* I’m sure the knucklehead will still rely on you for assistance and you will continue to give him the love and support he needs. It’s going to be OK.

  13. Scary… Being the great mom you are I have no doubt that Damien is equipped to handle whatever his father dishes out. Have a fantastic party!

  14. jees Angel, quite the milestone! Congrats to you both and have a fantastic weekend celebrating 🙂

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