and I could REALLY use some suggestions.
Tonight we are meeting with the knucklehead’s biological father at a restaurant. Neutral territory. My Glugster and I are going with Damien, but I’m not even sure thats the right thing to do. Do we sit elsewhere and let them talk? Do we sit together and try to make small talk? I have no idea how I am to behave towards him. The bitch in me wants to be cold and non-smiling, and the alternative means I have to be polite and smile. Are we going to have long uncomfortable silences? Does he want to meet Damien alone? I mean… technically the knucklehead is a grown up, so I should let him do this alone shouldn’t I?
Lawd, I wish this was over already. My stomach is in a knot. I’ve been on the brink of bawling my eyes out since I woke up and realised what day it was. Not from sadness, but from nervousness. I haven’t seen him since about November 1990, and we spoke on the phone once when the knucklehead was about a week old. I have seen him around shopping malls and such- but thats always at a distance and we pass each other as if we were strangers. If I didn’t point him out to you you’d never guess we even knew each other.
How do I now learn to share my child.